Balance is crucial because under-confidence is as poisonous as over-confidence: be under-confident and I may sell myself short or never reach higher levels; and over-confident, well, then I'd just be a prick with underwhelming work. I need to find middle-confidence - a perspective that allows me to be me while still regarding opinions fairly.
It sounds simple, and it is, but it isn't easy. More often than not I defer to my peers for their opinons. It's like I'm looking for some kind of validation, for someone to say, "Yes. Good. That's right," as if there were a definite answer. A definite answer! To art, of all things!
Art is the most subjective form of communication and expression, yet for some reason I often feel the need to compare my subjective understanding against another's. Is there a time and place for opinion? Short answer: yes. Long answer: hell yes. As long as I keep in mind who I am and what I represent, I'm in like lint (in a bellybutton).
I feel like a compressed mattress in a paper bag, a sensation of roiling springlike energy pressing with all it's muscle against the thin walls of everyday life. Something's out there, but I can only see faint light coming through the bag, like I'm hanging on the wall in Plato's cave and only the silhouettes of reality make an imprint on my existence.
On one foot (that's right, foot - hands get enough respect) it's maddening, but on the other it's magnificent. If the men from the cave were ever released they'd appreciate life much more than anyone born into the world the men were deprived of. In the same way, I feel like I'm slowly ripping through that paper bag, catching glimpses of the beautiful inanity of life that literally make me smile and laugh as I walk down the city streets.
Just be yourself.
*rip*
Last fall I put together a small and simple piece that I fell in love with. No one liked it. Here it is.
You create puzzles. That is primarily the type of art I find intrigues you most. Mayhaps this simple piece is so indecipherable to others, you couldn't help but like it.
ReplyDeleteNow, pertaining to your highlighted paragraph, there is in-fact a happy medium for confidence. However, being a perfect distance from the extreme cocky and overwhelmingly modest is almost impossible to achieve. I like to think of it like having to perpetually balance a pen on its tip, best you can do is get close at times, but it will always waver. If it goes unchecked it will quickly fall to one side. [I've been on the extreme of both sides]
ReplyDeleteRegarding your work, I personally think you are the Renaissance man of our generation...but take that with a grain of salt, you are worried about overconfidence after all =D
I appreciate you both taking the time to read and comment.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: I think you're right. My favorite types of are usually involve a playful mindfuck, and I think that's what happened here as well.
Dan S: Your analogy is fantastic - I think it represents well the battle between over- and under-confidence. There is no perfect balance and there never will be one, but as long as we constantly strive for it we can get pretty close. And thanks for the vote of confidence.